Can Nuns spend time with Family?

by Sister Julie on November 13, 2007
People often wonder whether or not nuns are allowed to see or spend time with their families. Here are a couple questions I received recently on my AskSister page.

Hi Sister Julie,
I love your website. I was wondering, do you ever get to see or spend time with your family (parents, siblings)? I think this would be the hardest part about becoming a sister/nun. Do different groups have different rules about when/if you are allowed to see your family?

Thank you,Melissa

I do get to spend time with my family (parents, two siblings+families). We don’t live in the same area so we are mostly in touch by email or phone or letters (my Mom is awesome at sending little notes of cheer, article clippings, and other cool stuff). Because of the distance I don’t get to see my family too often — like other people, nuns have only a certain amount of vacation time from our employers and we have to budget like everyone else to fly or drive home. My religious community does not impose any rules about seeing one’s family. But sometimes it is a bit of a juggling act because I am committed to my ministry, my “religious” family, and my natural family. Each commitment is something to which I give my time, love, and energy. I think it is true for all people that whatever we give our life to means that we sacrifice time and energy elsewhere, even if it is with those we love.

Yes, different religious communities do have different rules about seeing one’s family. I don’t know of any community that forbids seeing one’s family. Sometimes it’s just logistical — we don’t have the money for flights every holiday, family is too far away, we have community responsibilities or ministry responsibiliities. For some communities whose sisters live a more cloistered life there may be more of a desire to see visitors less frequently because of their particular calling.

In my religious community, I experience my IHM sisters as family. Just like my sister has her family and my brother has his. My IHMs are my family. I chose this lifestyle and this particular community because with them I am my best self and I love them dearly. I am able to grow in my relationship with God and be a person of mission and service. As a person grows into her or his vocation, I believe they are given the grace to be, well, graceful in their relationships and negotiating the struggles of various commitments to family, community, ministry, etc. Doesn’t mean it is easy, but it is with love and with purpose.

Source: A Nun's Life
http://anunslife.org/2007/11/13/can-nuns-spend-time-with-family/