I come from a Catholic family of two brothers and two sisters, I being the second youngest in the family. As was the practice among Catholics in Melaka, all of us children, except my older sister, were sent to Catholic Mission schools. And so, from aged seven, I was enrolled in Sacred Heart Canossian Convent School, Malacca. I grew up as a normal teenager, with the energy and interests of young people. So in school, I took part in the many activities, from being a member of the Crusaders, the Legion of Mary, and I enjoyed sports like badminton, netball and athletics
I was at that age very interested in Bible Knowledge which was taught in school as a Cambridge paper, and also in faith formation or Catechism, in preparation for my first Holy Communion and Confirmation. I remember listening with a keen mind and heart to the stories of the New Testament and to the stories of my Catholic faith, drinking in every word. This keen interest was to continue as I grew up, and it helped me come to know about Jesus and his love for us. I have always found reading and listening to the ‘Word of God’ a fascinating experience, and the Word would continue to touch and form me through the ups and downs of life.
A further grace of God paved the way that God would continue to show me, through the preached missions in my parish, and most of all through the retreat for school leavers in my school. It was at this particular retreat that Jesus called me to follow him – one evening when I was at prayer alone in the Convent chapel I felt the attraction of Jesus, inviting me to the religious consecration. The Sisters of my school encouraged me especially Rev. Mother Franguelli, to think seriously of this call. It would mean leaving behind family and everything else. But Jesus’ words “I have called you by name, you are mine” Jer. 29:3, continued to attract me.
After I had completed my Form five studies, and spending one year in the ‘aspirandato’ in Singapore, for those searching and discerning their call, I was given the invitation to join the Postulancy, the first stage of the two years religious training for Canossian novices. I was just barely eighteen, but in those days, in the 60s, girls were encouraged to enter young to safeguard their call to follow Jesus. Although I was still very inexperienced especially in the things of the world, I felt ready, spiritually and emotionally, to leave all and just say ‘yes’.
When I asked my parents for their blessing, they did not object, although my Mum was very sad to let me go. Somehow the Lord at this point, would ask me to have faith in him, that he would give a hundredfold, not only to the one who left all to follow him, but also to the family we leave behind, for their sacrifice in letting go.
Looking back now, after more than forty years in religious life, I see the marvels of the Lord, how he planned the journey and mission of each of his spouses, with so much love and care. “I know the plans I have for you – plans to give you a future with hope” Jer. 29:11. It is only in having trust in God, answering the personal call of my Lord Jesus, and placing the love of God above all, that I feel fulfilled in my purpose-driven life.
God uses us “to spread the knowledge of Christ everywhere like a sweet perfume.” 2 Cor 2:14.
Blessed be the Lord now and always!
By Sr Esther Thomazios, fdcc
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